Twilight Rose's Journal

Monday, August 25, 2003

2:04PM

classes. chances are i will never update again.... or at least for a VERY long time

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

8:58AM

the eve of the move in.

went to lata-auntie's yesterday and had a blast. she is so good at telling stories.... so funny. aditya (sp) was also there. cooler than ever, of course. every time i see him he seems shorter, though. and it can't be because i'm getting taller!

Sunday, August 17, 2003

10:36AM

maybe someday i'll get tired of calling him DG, but until then..... :P

anyway, he's coming up today!!! hopefully it will not conflict with our other dinner thing. oh yeah, the person telling us when that dinner thing is supposed to be is supposed to call us this morning and i'm tying up the phone line. well, tata for now...

Saturday, August 16, 2003

2:18PM

i admit i'm hopelessly behind.... however, computer problems and i was shut off from the internet *gasp* for a few days. this IMMEDIATELY following the week of deprivation due to the maine trip has nearly sent me to the hospital with withdrawal. i think i may recover after a few solid hours.

so let's see, what's going on? hmmmm.... had a blast on thursday going with monisha all the way to watertown to buy school stuff. i can't believe how much i spent. and her car is niiiice. it's too bad she can't take it with her.

friday was spent basically blah-ing around the house. however, in the evening ushee and i went to monisha's concert, which was fun. well the music was not ALL THAT, but it was nice to just listen to and the park was a really good environment. after which we went to monisha's house, where she burned me monisha music.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

8:54AM

oh my, i completely forgot this journal existed! excuse one: i wasn't here. excuse two: internet is not working at my house. excuse three: i need to get ready for the arrival of a person of some (self-proclaimed) importance and i need to be ready to move in in in!

so, now that i've explained all that, let me examine my recent life. the trip was alternatingly beautiful (as parks tend to be) and highly aggravating (as family trips tend to be). on the whole, it was a mediumly good trip. it was also not helped by the fact that we had heavy fog. when you go somewhere for the scenery, that does appear to take away... and we couldn't go on our coastline cruise because of that AND the boat race was cancelled :(

DG is yelling at me for not missing him :( i did i did i did i did. i just forgot to say anything.... because i'm like that. but it was really bad feeling all alone in my little isolated bubble and no happy huggy phone calls for me. *cries*

i want him to come back.................. *sad sad*

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

12:01PM

I REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS THAT MY SISTER SAID WE MIGHT DO IN MAINE.

go to the L.L. Bean store.

8:35AM

i will be leaving tomorrow. so for those admirably avid readers, there will be a tragic five day hiatus. apologies all.

i woke up (most unpleasantly) in the middle of another one of my alarm clock dreams. basically, all these dreams consist of an alarm clock which will not turn off for a horrendously long amount of time. the source of the noise is, of course, my real alarm clock, but i am too deep in sleep to get up and so my subconscious tries to convince it is a dream. i set a record today by incorporating the alarm clock sounds into my dreams for a full 15 minutes before actually waking up. my previous record was 11 minutes.

this time, the dream was rather more creative than my previous ones. (my previous ones merely consisted of the alarm clock ringing, me getting up to turn it off, and it keeping on ringing until i "woke up" again. this could go through many cycles before i actually woke up.) in this dream, my whole family was moving house. it was a HUGE house... just never seemed to end. not opulent but still quite nice and homey feeling. lots of soft brown rugs and so forth. however, for some reason the previous owners had left all of their furniture and other belongings, and we had to clear that all out. well, while we were still in the process of admiring how big the house was, an alarm clock started ringing. it was really loud and annoying (of course), so we headed in the direction of the noise, and it only got louder until it was nearly intolerable. there were more and more rooms and we kept heading further and further back in the house to find the source of the noise. finally, we found two fairly sizable rooms that were packed with all kinds of chairs, tables, etc. each of them had at least 50 electrical outlets each and to every single one, an alarm clock was plugged in. well, we knew there was only one of them going off. but which one? i ran around the room (nearly in tears from the annoyance of having to listen to the ringing) trying to see which one was the loudest. i did this for a great while before finally just yanking the cord on every alarm clock in sight (which took a very long time, considering there were like.... a hundred of them). the ringing wouldn't stop! i was overturning chairs and tables in search of the one alarm clock i must have missed..... and somewhere around there i truly woke up.

*shivers* terrible dreams.

oh yeah, some people are actually interested in my real life :P well, not much happened yesterday. had some visitors over for dinner, and then i stayed up until 12:30 fiddling with my computer, which is probably why i couldn't wake up this morning. (yes, that was a 12:30, not a type on a 2:30)

and... packing and praying for classes to start.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

8:22AM

sorry, i had to change that color theme. the default-ness of it was getting to me.

somehow DG has managed to get me absolutely enraptured with him (even more than before) so all you people who were finding this journal REMOTELY interesting might as well quit reading it now, since it's going to be nothing but continous ravings of an obsessed girl.

my computer seems fixed, at least for now (and hopefully for a while).

you know nine hours is a long time... but still not quite long enough...

listen to the beach boys song "wouldn't it be nice". think of DG. put the two together. see how nutso i've become?

ok ok ok, back down to earth now. seems that a bunch of us girls are getting together for lunch. was going to be at our normal hideaway (the fields) but instead it's going to be in little italy (at least, last i heard). wow, i actually have sarah's birthday present with me so i hope she comes. well i mean, i would hope she would come anyway, but -- well, you get the idea -- never mind.

i had a profound thought just about 1/2 hr ago (but i was getting ready to come here so i couldn't jot it down) and now it has slipped me. i think it was inspired by sigmund, who, incidentally, i feel rather uncomfortable around lately. it would be nice if he is reading the journal, but i have no clue whether he is, and anyway from the fact that he isn't planning on posting again until the semester starts, i assume he doesn't have easy access to the internet. or isn't planning to use the internet.

it is hard to describe discomfort. i feel as if he thinks i do not trust him, and that bothers him. well, i cannot honestly say i do, because i don't know him well enough. would he like me to tell him all about my life? i could, of course, but i would have no idea how he is reacting, for he just says "ok" most of the time, and doesn't give me much information in return. there must be an exchange.

but he is still a cool kid. maybe i will get to know him better in the future....

ah, my profound though came back to me. i notice that a lot of people say they like to be trusted, or let in on people's secrets. but if i am telling people secrets, it often seems as if they almost do not wish to know. and i can understand this. everybody has problems. it is easier to, for the most part, ignore the problems. say there is someone you like to hang out with, and you are perfectly content hanging out with this person without knowing the sort of emotional trauma he or she may be experiencing on a daily basis. then he/she tells you. now you have that burden to carry around with you. you must be more careful when around this person. it adds stress to your life. now, if the person is a close friend, of course it is worth it. you would want to know. but not about everybody. it is too much pressure, too much calculation of what may hurt and what will not, too much worry about doing the "right" thing.

so much so that i find.... telling people things close to your heart at the wrong time can serve, not to bring you together, but to drive you away.... for they are scared... of what responsibility you might lay on them.... and that is actually the sign of a good person. it means they would care.

..............................................................

Monday, August 4, 2003

8:50AM

monday (not so) blahs. stayed up till 11:30 last night finishing up the harry potter book, all the while knowing that i ought to be getting my usual 9 hr quota of sleep. excuse: i'm under pressure to finish that book! ushee wants it back before thursday to read on her trip. speaking of trips, i wonder if i ought to start packing soon....

it seemed like yesterday was full of chores. hanging clothes, doing laundry (and not my own, either!). then i tried to install xp professional on my new computer, but i messed something up (i have an idea of what i did but i'm not telling because it is ONE too embarrassing and TWO would be even more embarrassing if what i think happened didn't actually happen and i'm just completely clueless). so i will be reinstalling it. but no rush, no rush...

wow, i'm really behind on giving sarah her birthday present. more than a month now... which is really sad considering i've had her present for nearly a month. just never see her.

oh, i had a thought and i just lost it. it was about something fairly cool we were going to do in maine (besides roam all over arcadia national park). perhaps it will come back to me. for example, when we are actually doing it.

miyazaki hayao fans out there? we just got a 3 DVD set of kiki, mononoke, and spirited away. we are, of course, listening to them in japanese, although the subtitle capability does get handy at times. my sister's enraptured with this spirited business, but i still haven't gotten the motivation to go sit down and watch it. the girl has an exceptionally beautiful voice, though. i still swear that dragon boy looks like a girl.

Sunday, August 3, 2003

12:34PM

to elaborate on this mall concept....

ushee actually persuaded me to get eyeshadow. so now i have 4 different colors of eye shadow cream. pink, dark maroon, and two shades of lavender/purple. i finally got my one shoulder top, although it's a BIT big for me so i have to be very careful when raising my arms. also a tube top thing, but as monisha said, tube tops don't look that great in general, so it has some string things coming out the top to make it officially a halter top (says i). really cute though. red and blue and white stripes.

so now i can be a truly girly girl. go dress up and put on make-up. wow.

Saturday, August 2, 2003

8:52PM

MALL!!! enough said...

9:41AM

i'm listening to "loose yourself" (eminem). i started pondering, and realized that eminem's rhymes are quite as shitty as everyone has been telling me. but i still want to listen. so it can't be shitty :P

put my computer together yesterday! ok, so it wasn't hard. as monisha said, everything is color-coded.

last friend get together is going to happen today, it seems. after this everyone is either going to be away on family trips or too busy getting ready to move in for the semester. wow, these things never happened back in high school. how life changes...

i got the pictures of DG developed. it's my new stalker album. i got him in some unsuspecting positions let me tell you :) even as i don't understand how such things can happen, i feel very priveledged not to be so easily sunburnt. maybe we'll have to move back to sweden. (cringes at the thought)

Friday, August 1, 2003

9:18AM

oh yeah, i forgot... for those who don't know, SURE stands for Symposium of Undergraduate Research Experience

9:14AM

hmm, what to say what to say... keeping up this journal just because... if i stop i will never look at it again, and i know some people are doing me the honor of actually reading it.... *yawn* (so sleepy today, my apologies)

presentation thing went well.... tgif, everyone... only a few more days of work, because on thursday i leave for maine with my family... a six day trip and then only a few more days before i move into the dorms. can't wait... why can't time pass just a bit faster...

get to put together my new comp sometime today or tomorrow... did i put this all in the last post? wow, i hope i'm not repeating myself. that would make me look dumb. (too sleepy to care)

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

12:30PM

i know i have been rather neglecting this journal. i plead extenuating (is that the word? is that A word?) circumstances. at any rate, i am back in li'l old potsdam again, fairly serene and doing the countdown until the semester starts... (speaking of which, where exactly are we on the countdown? *thinks* 21 days till i move in...)

my trip went exceedingly well. ok, to put it more succintly, i had a blast! thank you to the million people who helped me get there and through it all.... everyone knows who he/she is.

getting ready for the SURE presentation tomorrow. wow, it's coming up fast. i don't feel too nervous about it. i have a lot to do still but it doesn't seem toooo overwhelming.

time is going so fast and slow at the same time. so strange... what i mean is even as i do this countdown until the semester starts (which seems to be dragging out forever) i am thinking about how little time i have left this summer. one more week of work, then that week long trip to maine, and then i only have another week to get ready for the whole semester!

wow, this journal is boring. i guess i'm operating on the idea that i can put anything i want in here, since only people who really really want to know about me will read it, and those people deserve to know a lot in return for their pains :P

Sunday, July 27, 2003

9:23PM

hey everyone.... um... pretty soon i will actually get the motivation to put info about this little journal in my profile but until said time i will be talking to all... five?... people in the world who know that this thing exists.

but anyhoo, i'm in connecticut!!!! celebration! how did i get here? against all rhyme and reason and with plenty of insanity to fill in the gaps. well i had help. *points to some guy* <-- if you know who this guy is, remember he's dangerous :P

Thursday, July 24, 2003

10:02AM

craziness! i've gone off the deep end i tell you. but there is that "rational" part of me saying that i have to go off the deep end. rationally speaking, one cannot be rational all the time :P i must be crazy for once in my life and save myself from this endless painful and ultimately not beneficial at all turmoil (ok, so that was a bad sentence -- apologies, all). anyway, we're all crazy. i'm just proving i'm normal :P

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

6:15PM

hey i've decided on a course of action. can i actually follow through? my friends, i need help. please tell me i can do what i set out to. that i can live with my actions when i do what i want. when i really want something, that it will be worth it in the end....

1:01PM

hi everyone it is me... i'm keeping a journal, how about it? please leave lots of comments (uhhh, do i have a comment cabability on this thing?) so i know everyone is checking up on me and my fantastically... somewhat interesting life. as interesting as you make it, i suppose. omg, i'm so sad connie's all alone! in a different country! wow, that's terrible...

Customize